Be the Solution with Maria Quattrone

Life by Design: Overcoming Fear and Living with Purpose

• Maria Quattrone • Season 1 • Episode 336

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What does it truly mean to live life by design? In this powerful conversation with returning guest Dan Zytowski, we explore the transformative philosophy that "life begins when you step outside your comfort zone." 

Dan shares his journey from being a self-described "depressed millionaire" flipping houses to creating a life centered on purpose, presence, and authentic relationships. His refreshing perspective challenges conventional thinking about success, encouraging listeners to stop waiting for some mythical future "golden years" and instead design their ideal life today.

The conversation takes unexpected turns as we explore the paralyzing effects of perfectionism, the power of imperfect action, and the liberation that comes from failing forward. Dan vulnerably shares his deepest fear - not of heights or public speaking - but of reaching the end of life and meeting "the person he could have been" had he taken more chances and lived more boldly.

We dive into practical strategies for reverse-engineering your dream life, starting with a simple but profound exercise: imagining what your calendar would look like if time and money weren't obstacles. From there, Dan explains how to work backwards, creating incremental steps that lead to extraordinary transformation.

Perhaps most valuable is Dan's insight that all business success ultimately comes down to just two things: building relationship capital and solving problems. When you master these elements through authentic connection rather than transactional thinking, you create sustainable success that aligns with your deepest values.

Whether you're a real estate professional looking to elevate your business or simply someone seeking more meaning and intentionality in your life, this conversation offers both inspiration and practical steps to begin your journey today. As Dan reminds us, the most important question might be: "Who do you need to become to create the life you truly desire?"

Take one insight from this episode and implement it today. Share your experience with us, as we'd love to hear how these ideas are transforming your approach to business and life.

Connect with Maria Quattrone:
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Website: MQrealesate.com
Office number: 215- 607-3535

Maria Quattrone:

I'm Maria Quatrone and this is the Be the Solution podcast, and today I'm excited because we have a return guest and friend of the show, Dan Zitofsky and Dan Dan, dan, dan. I watch Dan on social media. I aspire to be like Dan. Dan is just going it out there and he lives his life. And, dan, I have a quote for you this morning is that life begins when you step out of your comfort zone.

Maria Quattrone:

Wow, that's a quote that I picked for you personally this morning Life begins when you step out of your comfort zone.

Dan Zitofsky:

Wow, I love it, I love it. Well, let me first say thank you so much of your comfort zone. Wow, I love it. I love it. Well, let me first say thank you so much for having me on. We had a glass time on the show and I watch you too and I see how you live out loud and you lead by example and you're definitely leading from the front and I love what you're doing and I love how you're leading. So it's just an honor to be back on here again and with your group and be able to totally bless them somehow, some way. Maybe we pierce their heart with something we say today, but I you said you see me on social media and I do that.

Dan Zitofsky:

It's just the real I people have called it. You know I speak at a lot of events, I do a lot of keynote for companies and they're like you're the real deal, dan zatavsky, and that's what you should be called um, because there's so much fake stuff. I call fake book, right, so I coined that term fake book out there, because people could be whoever they want to be on social media and I put it out there, and I think you do the same from what I watch. You put out the real deal and I want people to see that we're real.

Dan Zitofsky:

We're not perfect, we screw up, we fail. We live our life out loud. We screw up, we fail, we live our life out loud. And the most important thing I want people to see is you can live life the way life by design, the way you want to live life by design, without waiting right. Don't wait till what they call those golden years, where you get old, you get sick, you're fragile, you're tired, you're going to doctors, you're on medicine and those are supposed to be golden years. We have less money and I don't believe in that. You only live once. My thing is you live every day, you die once.

Maria Quattrone:

Right, well, some people are already dead, but they're alive exactly.

Dan Zitofsky:

They're just existing, they're not living. So you know, I love putting it out there because I want people to see hey, you can live life by design too. It doesn't have to be Dan Zatowski or Maria Quattrone, it could be you, right, we're already. I tell people don't compare yourself to me, we're already done. Right, you might not want to live my life. You might not want to take all summer off and be on the beach and the boat. That might not be your thing. You might want to grind all summer. You might want to do different things. That's the life by design I talk about. Right, I designed the life I wanted. And here's the most important thing I might give somebody.

Dan Zitofsky:

When I coach anybody over the years this is what I always tell them, because nobody has figured this out yet and they come to me and they say well, what is your dream? And if you could do anything in the world, what would it be If you pull your calendar out today and say money and time wasn't an issue? What would my life look like? What would my calendar look like? And that's exactly how you got to start this off. And then you work backwards. Okay, you say I want to, I want to go out there and I want to do what you do, whatever. If you want to do what I do and you want to not work all summer, you want to just be on the beach or the boat or just hanging out all summer with friends and just going to coffee shops or whatever you want to do where you live, well then, what does that look like for you? How much money you need to do that? How much time do you need to do that? Okay, how do you get the money? How do you get to deals? How do you find you know the people to partner with, right, but the other what most people do and what they do wrong, it's, it's they. They say I'm just going to go out there and I'm going to grind and I'm going to hustle and I'm going to put on social media all this stuff. I'm going to rent the fake cars and the fake planes and the fake boats and all that stuff and wear a crazy watch collection like we got, but they're going to put themselves into debt to wear it. Or they're going to wear the fake stuff, right, because they're trying to impress people that really don't care about them. But you really don't live in your life by design.

Dan Zitofsky:

So the other thing we see is people spend more time planning a vacation than they plan their life. Right, they go on vacation and they have an itinerary. Because I'm doing it now, I'm planning to go to italy, right? So we're looking at itineraries where to go, what, what towns to go, to stay in an airbnb, to stay in a hotel to to have a private drive, to have private tours, what month to go where, to see how to hit different parts of the country. But most people don't plan their life like that.

Dan Zitofsky:

And when I ask people so how much do you need to make to live the life you want to live that way? They just throw a number at me 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 100,000. They have no idea why. No, why and I know that number is so inconsistent because I know my number two, a penny right and I tell them you don't need to live dan zatowski's life, you don't leave to live maria courtron's life. You need to live your life.

Dan Zitofsky:

What does your life by design look like? Stop having a comparison. That's the problem with social media. It's great and I love it because I'm able to, like, pierce people's hearts and help them and I don't show off on social media. I don't put you. Really won't ever, unless I'm driving it. You will not see me posting my cars. You will not see me posting my watch collection. You won't see me posting stuff like that. But you won't see me doing that because that means absolutely nothing. Nobody cares. They care. They don't care about your stuff. They don't care how successful you are. They care about what you can do for them. And once you create that, then you become somebody people want to follow.

Dan Zitofsky:

But when we talk about it, so many people have an issue because they're going forward and they're like I just need to make 20 grand a month. And I ask them why? And they have no idea why. So that's the important thing I want people to get out of. This is you could start today. You know, if you figure out today what your dream is, you could start today. You know people are like well, I want to live on the water, like you. I want to have a boat, like you, I want to live on the beach. I want to do that. And I'm like why don't you just get up?

Dan Zitofsky:

go outside and watch the sunrise. Start there, watch how your life starts to change. Right, start having sunshine instead of screen time. Don't wake up the first thing in the morning, open up your phone and watch Dan and Maria on social media. I love you, you do it, but take care of yourself first. Stop consuming and start creating. Right, I go on social media. Believe it or not. People might think I'm on there all day. I'm not. I'm a creator, right? I go on there and I create. I create content and I create it as real as possible, right?

Dan Zitofsky:

So if I go out for my run a couple of times a week or I'm at the gym or I go play pickleball, I'm driving or I'm running or I'm at the gym and something hits me and I'm like, wow, this is powerful and it just that's what I kind of do. That's where I do my meditation. I'm listening to a podcast and I put it out there. This is very important. We're on a podcast right now.

Dan Zitofsky:

It's a beautiful screen, you got lighting, you lit up and it's awesome, but most people will not go and they will not do it. They will not do a live video because they're scared what people think. And this thing creates so much content, you change your life. You can make millions of dollars with this thing right here. Just hit, play, just hit record. Don't worry about being perfect, worry about being done. So I'm giving, I'm giving a lot in these few minutes and we can unpack these a little bit. But so many people are scared to fail that they never take action, and to me, you failed if you don't take action, and we can talk about that as well yeah, failing.

Maria Quattrone:

I mean I don't know how you could possibly be successful without failing through. There's just going to be failures. You just fail. Get back up, keep going, get back up. Adjust, keep going, get back up. Look at all the greatest people in the world. They failed, and failed Thomas Edison.

Dan Zitofsky:

There's so many. I give people an example all the time. Thomas Edison is one that he had a thousand failures, but I don't know if your audience has heard of Reggie Jackson. I asked all the time what is Reggie Jackson known for? He's the home run king, right, but he has more strikeouts over any person in baseball history at the time. And he's known as the home run king because he kept getting up there. You know kobe bryant used to go out there throw five 500 shots a day in basketball, all right, so the greats are great because that, you know, michael jordan didn't make his high school basketball team. We were talking about people that failed over and over again and fell fast. Go out there and fail fast. Learn from it and move forward. Fail often, fail fast and fail forward.

Maria Quattrone:

I was just reading yesterday about a doctor who Did not get in and he tried to get in several medical schools and he couldn't get in. And then he finally got into. They actually told him you're not going to be a doctor, you've got to go be a dentist or something. And he finally got into University of Utah. Anyway, he's the guy that made the artificial heart.

Dan Zitofsky:

That's amazing. Imagine he quit. That's amazing.

Maria Quattrone:

Imagine he quit. Imagine he quit, like there's so many stories like that. Imagine he quit. Let's go back to the late by design, because that is something that it's very hard for many people, many, many, many people to do. That and, given in real estate, I can't just jet off and be in Italy for three months. I guess I want to, but I'm not there. I'm here, dan, with you. You can do this from Italy. No, I that I can, and I can do a lot remote. I do a lot of remote. Actually, a lot of my clients, investors, you know like it's remote, people aren't interested necessarily in coming to the office. I invite them, but if you want to do something, you'll be like well, we'll talk on the phone or do a Zoom or something.

Dan Zitofsky:

Right. Well, it comes down to this Right, and I don't want to go through this too hard with you because I might get off this call. We might get off this call and you might be putting your retirement papers and all the people can start crying because, oh no, marie doesn't want to do real estate agent anymore, but do you have an office full of people, so we have to figure out what to do with them.

Maria Quattrone:

But exactly.

Dan Zitofsky:

There is always something. But let me ask you this you say I would love to go for three months.

Maria Quattrone:

Yes, you haven't.

Dan Zitofsky:

Do you know what it would take for you to do that?

Maria Quattrone:

Well, we would need to do something with.

Dan Zitofsky:

Let's just stop there, right? Let's stop there at that point, because this is exactly exactly. You're a real estate agent, broker and it's exactly what people are doing in their life, right? They say I want to do this, but they have no plan to ever be able to Like. What would it take for you to do that? There is something you could do to do that.

Maria Quattrone:

Well, my plan right now is this this year we went for three weeks. We ended up being there for six weeks, but two different times, uh-huh. Okay, this year we're going to Sicily for three weeks end of August. Next year, my plan is to go for one month, mid-august to mid-September 2027. My plan is to do the 90 days.

Dan Zitofsky:

So you're making it work. So at least you have a plan and you know it's not like right now.

Maria Quattrone:

Right, it's two years from now. Two years from now as I'm building the business, recruiting, training, starting my coaching business so that's like my coaching business is going to be my end game, to be not in the day to day. That's where I'm going. I don't know that there's very many people out there. There are some, but out of 2 million agents, not a lot of them have taken already 123 listings this year. So I have a lot to teach and I can teach anywhere.

Dan Zitofsky:

That's awesome. So you do have a plan right. So you're creating life by design. So you don't have to go for three months this year, and that's what I tell people. You do not have to live Dan's life and Maria's life this year. Remember, I said, if you want to, you know I get out and I watch the sunrise all the time. I go to the gym. You don't have to do that, but you can walk out. You don't have to be on the beach, but you can walk outside your house and you can watch the sunrise, you can watch the sunset, you can watch nature, you can go for a walk, you can go for a run, you can meditate. You can do things that don't cost any money. Right're already done. Get out there today and start creating the life you want to live today. Don't wait till tomorrow because tomorrow might not come.

Dan Zitofsky:

So exactly what you just did, and you have it planned out a little bit better than most. Most people say well, I want to do that and I'm like well, what's your plan? What is it going to take to get there? How do you create that right? Do you work backwards? Don't just say I want to go to italy for three months but you have no plan to get there right. What is it going to take? How do I put people in charge? How do I have a team? How do that? On money side, how much money do I need to get there right that I don't? I can literally shut my laptop and shut my phone off to be there, and for some people it's maybe different career and some people it's a certain amount of money, but a lot of people can work from there.

Maria Quattrone:

You can see, that's the thing like being able to work from anywhere and then someday, not having to work at all, but that's another story. But being able, I think that that's, you know, having that ability to be truly global, and that's exciting to me well I'm not.

Maria Quattrone:

It'd be nice to kick off the whole summer, but I'm not there yet in my career, so I do what I can. I'm still down the shore. I'll go back after the podcast, but we come down on Thursday nights. I work here on Friday. Come back Monday morning. I'm tan as can be.

Dan Zitofsky:

Look at that, yeah, look at us. We're all on the boat and the beach this whole weekend.

Maria Quattrone:

I'm all tanned up. I am working on tan. I said I like being tan. I was thinking about this. This is off topic. I said I like being tan, like I was thinking about this, this is like off topic, but I was thinking about this yesterday. I feel better. I actually feel better, that's amazing.

Dan Zitofsky:

That's life by design. Like what do you look like? What does your health look like? What does your body look like? What does your life look like? What does your relationships look like If time and money was not an object? And being tan is certainly something that should be on that list, because how do you create the tan? You create the tan by living the life you want to live outside, maybe on the beach, maybe on the boat, maybe maybe in a tanning salon.

Maria Quattrone:

I mean, I don't go to a tanning salon, but maybe I don't go to a tanning salon, but maybe I don't go to a tanning salon what I ride the bike.

Dan Zitofsky:

But exactly that's life by design. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Riding a bike costs you absolutely no money and you could live. You could not go to Italy for three months, you could still ride your bike and at least you created something you because people want to know you, trust you and like you right, and they got to know you right and they got to feel connected to you.

Dan Zitofsky:

So if they feel like you're the best person in the world, they're not going to connect with you and they're not going to do what you do. So if you talk about how great you are and you start showing pictures of where you live maybe it's a mansion, maybe you're on a yacht, maybe you have a supercar they're not a plane they're not going to connect with you because they don't feel that they could do that. But show them how you can go outside and go for a walk and see the sunrise and listen to music and sit on your back patio and listen to the birds chirping, if that's you know. If you got on here, you might've said it was off topic, but it's not off topic. It's exactly what we talk about. And when I coach somebody, it's exactly when I coach executives, business leads. That's exactly what we talk about, because they're so into the numbers and the KPIs and the grind and then one day they die. They never actually why. And I say why are you doing what you're doing? Why are you trying to make so much money right now? And their answer inevitably is because I want to do what I want to do. I want to do it with whom I want to do it with whom I want to do it with.

Dan Zitofsky:

Look at your life. Is that what you're doing right now? So if you make half a million dollars, are you doing that? If you make two million dollars, are you doing that? And how do I know? It's because I was that guy. I was that guy was the most depressed millionaire you'd ever meet we talked about that last time on the podcast is probably my life of flipping houses. You know 40, 50 houses a year, 50 to 80 000 minimum per net per house, sometimes six figures figures per house, making multiple seven figures miserable. Almost lost my wife and kids because I was never around. So was I really doing what I said I wanted to do? Was I really living my vision? And you have to figure this out first Before you do anything else. What is your personal vision If time and money was not an object? What would your life look like? Pull out a calendar and start drawing out your calendar and believe it or not, not. This is the only podcast I think I've ever done before 10 o'clock in the morning in the summer.

Dan Zitofsky:

I must really like you, maria, because I don't take podcasts before 10 am in the summer um and I generally I don't book a podcast in the summer because I don't know what the weather's gonna be like, so I always say, well, get me that day. If it's nasty out, I'll get on um, but you know, we had a great time and I enjoyed it and we give a lot of value to your audience. I hope and it's abundance that I want to get. My number one core value is abundance in life. So I want to give back. This is not yet to give back to people, but I just pray and hope that people take what we say.

Dan Zitofsky:

You've put out some great info. I'm putting out some great info here. I hope people take a piece of this right, and I'm putting out some great info here. I hope people take a piece of this right, and I'm very careful not to tell them about what I have, but I hope they take a piece of this and say I can do that. They talk to their spouse, their boyfriend, their girlfriend, their partner, their friend, their mom, their dad and say I'm going to do this. Start doing this one thing today. I'm going to do this one thing today and they don't have to do everything.

Maria Quattrone:

Just take this one thing today and the one thing, and your life starts to change it is like you said you like suntan, you like being tan I feel, feel better and I look better and I feel better, and that's a vitamin d. You know, is what's underrated.

Dan Zitofsky:

Oh, it's, it's true. I mean I talk about I come winter time, I have those someowns, but that's, you know, who would have?

Maria Quattrone:

thought.

Dan Zitofsky:

I now develop in Roatan, in the most beautiful place in the world. I'm developing condos and houses and I get to go out there a lot. I speak at events. I can't lie. I mean, some of the events I go to I'm looking, I get offered, you know, a lot of speaking events throughout the year and I look at it.

Dan Zitofsky:

Do I really want to go to the cold winter somewhere and speak or do I want to go somewhere nice and speak? And I got to be honest that even on the paid speaking events, the nicer places to go always like come to the top of my list. It's like I'd rather go there than some cold wintery snowstorm to go speak at those events. So, and once again, it's life by design. I don't chase the money, I chase lifestyle, right. And then when I go speak, a lot of times I get to bring my wife now because the kids are a little, the kids are older, and we spend another, you know, one or two days somewhere and we enjoy it. So it's not just work speaking, which I love to do at events but it's actually I get to enjoy the life, so I get to see the country and the world.

Dan Zitofsky:

And last year I got to do a lot of international speaking. So it was evolving right. Evolution happens. But one thing I won't do is I won't. My vision is so crystal clear to me. It's like in cement it adjusts as I need to adjust, but I do not chase like I used to chase anymore.

Dan Zitofsky:

I had a 180 return. But you have to build that. So I said I don't want to be chasing anymore. If I do, I'll be a single guy by myself, very miserable and lonely. But I'll have a lot of money. And I said what do I need to do to switch that?

Dan Zitofsky:

And, believe it or not, you start making those changes. And as you start making those changes changes, the money starts coming up passively and then it starts exceeding your transactional income. And that's the goal, right? So if people want to live that life, what's it going to take? How much money do you need? How much do you make per deal? How many deals do you need to make? How do you have to not worry about the economy? So that's controlling your destiny.

Dan Zitofsky:

That's lifestyle by design. That's why it's so important. I keep saying by design, you designed it, I'm gonna make it happen. Just like a vacation you designed your vacation to Italy, go, make it happen, right. So people spend more time on their vacations than they spend on their life, and this is so important because it it is. You buy so quick with such a blip on this radar screen in life and people are so busy waiting for perfection that they don't ever get started. And that that's me watching. I mean one of my talks, one of my talks out there is be OK failing. Be OK failing because you will fail and fail. You know, people are scared to fail and I used to have three fears in life. I have two now. One of them used to be snakes, but I got off stage once and they put this 80-pound python around my neck and I just fell with that. My other fear that I'll never get over is heights. I have no interest in getting over heights.

Dan Zitofsky:

So, with that fear of heights, and it's fine the juice isn't worth it.

Maria Quattrone:

Have you been in a hot air balloon?

Dan Zitofsky:

No.

Maria Quattrone:

Okay.

Dan Zitofsky:

That juice is not worth the squeeze for me.

Maria Quattrone:

I don't want to get over it. Well, I have a fear of heights and I booked a hot air balloon in Tuscany about eight years ago and I got in. I had to. You know, you got to like, get yourself in the thing.

Dan Zitofsky:

Okay.

Maria Quattrone:

You have to.

Dan Zitofsky:

I might have to get myself in the thing. Wait.

Maria Quattrone:

Well, I had to get myself. So not only am I afraid, but now I have to like kind of throw my body into the balloon basket Because it's not at waist height, it's like at chest height basket because it's not at waist height, it's like at chest height. So like, unless you're super, super fit, you're gonna have a tough time getting your ass in the basket. Anyway, there's my husband and I. Uh, we weren't married yet. We're getting married soon.

Maria Quattrone:

It was us and another couple and it was 6 00 am. We picked us up at like 5 something and up, up and away, and I loved it. I wasn't afraid. Wow, wow, I wasn't afraid and it's one of the absolute best things I ever did on a vacation. One of the best things I've ever done were over the vineyard in Tuscany. The sun's coming up, there's hardly anybody on the road. We flew up. We were probably up there for I don't know an hour or so Now I wasn't standing like on the edge of it, like leaning over, okay, I was just like in awe, all of the beauty, but also in awe that I wasn't having a nervous breakdown and how much I loved it. And so maybe when you're in Italy this year, maybe when you're in Italy this year you can take check out the hot air balloon.

Dan Zitofsky:

I was surprised.

Maria Quattrone:

My husband thought I was really going to be losing my mind, because he knows about the fear of heights. But it happened and so you know, that's that's that. I had no idea that that would kind of break it. You know, like I'm on a big-.

Dan Zitofsky:

Are you broken of heights? Sphere of heights now.

Maria Quattrone:

Well, like I'm better, but you know, like I'm not going to jump out of an airplane or anything like that. I don't know if that's sphere of heights or just not wanting to do that, but when I am like, say, on a big cliff or a bluff, I'm not like walking on the edge. Okay, like it's just like it's not to me Right.

Dan Zitofsky:

But I feel okay.

Dan Zitofsky:

Let me tell you a fear that I have that set me right in my life, and you got to think about this. People need to really think about this. So you were able to get over your fear of heights. I was able to get over my fear of snakes. Those are kind of ancillary to me, right, they're. They're life-changing, but they're not this kind of fear.

Dan Zitofsky:

The fear that I live with all the time is my fear that I'm going to leave this world, be on my deathbed one day and my kid's going to look at me and they said my dad could have been a great guy if he took action on what he really wanted, if he wasn't scared to take action. Right, so I'm not going to accomplish everything I want in this world. There's no way, because I have some crazy big aspirations and abundance and things I want to do and I do them. I don't talk about them, I am about them, but I will never leave this world.

Dan Zitofsky:

Playing it safe. That's that's the fear I live with and that's the fear you got to think about. Right, you got over your heights, but how safe are you playing it? How safe are people playing? Because they're scared to fail, and you failed if you do not go out and take action on what you want to do. So how many parents out there have kids? How many parents out there have kids with dreams? Can you imagine telling your kid sorry, honey, you're not. You can never be the president united states, because it's just not for someone like you.

Dan Zitofsky:

You're not smart enough you don't have the charisma, you don't know the right people, you don't have the money. Oh sorry, son, you want to be a professional athlete. You're not going to do it because you're just not good enough. You can't do it. You know, you didn't make your high school basketball team, michael Jordan, give it up, go get a job.

Dan Zitofsky:

And some of the people I roll with right now these are people that are are life changers. They're world renowned names out there. I mean founder of Chuck E. Cheese's mom told him why don't you stop playing with the stupid cheat, the rat and pizza and go get a real job and look what he has at chunky cheese. Um, I met an astronaut very similar story.

Dan Zitofsky:

So this haunts me all the time and it's not something you could ever, ever get over. But think about how many things you're playing safe on right. How many things you're playing safe on I got. How many things you're playing safe on? I got a dream. I always wanted to be a scuba diver, right, what was that way? I was waiting. I was waiting. It was always never the perfect time. So one of my coaches and friends said to me he says well, when are you going to do it? I says I'll probably next year, when are you going to be down here? Probably around this and gave me the phone, handed it to me, did a scoop, did a master dive instructor and they set my schedule up. It was on my calendar now.

Dan Zitofsky:

Now, it was a different story when we did the Make-A-Wish Foundation movie for Frank Shankowitz. You know it would be nice to do it. No, no, no, are you in? Not, are you in? Maybe? Are you in? Yes or no? Like that's the kind of crap I'm talking about. And if you hang out with people that are you're the smartest person in the room and you have an ego, that's, that's what you're going to fill your ego. If you really want to be a game changer and a world changer, start playing that game. Where you're scared to leave this world, think about yourself on your deathbed.

Maria Quattrone:

What would?

Dan Zitofsky:

your kids, your friends say about you, like, what are they going to say? I mean, if, honestly, what are they going to say about?

Maria Quattrone:

you.

Dan Zitofsky:

The hardest exercise I ever did in my life was my mentor made me write my UOG and I'm not a sensitive guy normally. I started tears started streaming down my face because all I could say is my dad was a good coach. Because I was a coach of sports right and I made a lot of money. I took care of him. That's what I honestly could say about what my kids would have said about me back in the day and I thought I was a great father and great husband and a great friend and great uncle. But really, when it came down to it, I would you know I wasn't doing that.

Dan Zitofsky:

So I made a change and I made it fast and that's what I think about every single day now. I that's in my head every single day is like you know, my planet's safe in this world. Can I be doing more? And I don't mean money-wise Can I be doing more? Can I be changing a life? Can I be on a podcast like this? Hopefully a lot of people listen and they take this action. I might've changed a life out there. That's what it's about for me. It's loving people. I created my own inner circle event. I do it like once or twice a year. I have people maybe 20 people max there and I'm very, very lazy on who gets into that room with us. And those are the people we do life with. We do you know, we do we do business, we do life. We do you know.

Dan Zitofsky:

They come to my house, they hang out on the boat with me on the boat with me, we cook dinners together, we do vacations together, but they start off as, like you know, these are my inner circle, these are the people I want to do like business with. So you know, you got to think about who you want in your circle. It's so important, right? It's so important, you got to be okay. You know, breaking the shell, breaking away.

Dan Zitofsky:

I'm not saying get rid of your family, get rid of your best friends growing up, but you know too many people at all these events they're hanging out. I call them, call them the king of dipshits. Excuse my French. Generally I don't like the curse, but they are the king of dipshits. They talk about how great they are, they pound their chest, they get on stage, they talk about how much they're doing, how much money they make, how great they are, but they never actually give anything to people to help them out. So start getting in rooms of people that are actually actually making you a better person, right?

Dan Zitofsky:

And don't worry about not looking good. Don't worry about Maria could have said oh, my hair, I want to get my hair done before this podcast. We did today, right, but don't worry, don't worry, not done People. You know, tell me all the time. They're like I get it too. I used to do it on purpose. Now I just a lot of times I voice text like a post or something, because I'm out on the road or I'm driving. I'll voice text them and there'll be a spelling error. And I always have a couple friends that write back to me. They're like hey, you got words, said this, and I'm like you know what I say to them. I'm like that's cool, while you're worried about fixing my stuff, I'm changing the world. And that's my answer to everybody Like I'm not worried, and it's not about me being egocentric, it's about me not worrying about being perfect. Worrying about imperfect action is better than perfect inaction. And so many people are worried about I'm not going to do a podcast until I have the right camera, until I have the right lighting, until I have the right studio, until I have the right green screen.

Dan Zitofsky:

Or how about this? How many of you know investors? I used to coach newbies, new investors. They're great, there's nothing wrong with them, but why haven't you made an offer yet?

Dan Zitofsky:

Well, because I don't have my business cards, I don't want my logo, I don't my crm, I don't have my this, I don't want my that. I mean, you know what my crm is? Right here, this is my crm. I literally write everything down on a pad. Still, I do millions and millions and millions of dollars of business and that's my serum. And you know what? I have a high-end CRM and I never use it. I use a pad and a paper.

Dan Zitofsky:

So you know, it's the minutia that people, because they're so scared, right, they're like well, I need an email address, I need a logo, I need a website, I need a CRM, I need this, I need that. Just pick up this damn phone and say hey, I'm a real estate agent. This is the house I'm looking at right now. Look at all these amenities If you're interested in this. This is why it's beneficial.

Dan Zitofsky:

Start being a little different than every other agent out there. Stop just putting stuff in the MLS and hoping and praying and I know I'm probably speaking to you and your audience right now because that's what gets you a hundred something listings already this year Because you're not somebody just throwing something on MLS and hoping and praying themselves sells. You're a changer, right, you're making a difference. Well, I could have done that. I could have done this stuff with real estate, when I had the money, when I had time, when I had the team, when I had a CRM, when I had this, when I had that. Just start, start. You're so shocked, if you start today, what it's going to look like in six months, one year, two years, five years from now, and imagine what 10 years looks like. It's even like investing right.

Maria Quattrone:

That's the other thing. Just getting into real estate, somebody say they're in some other job where they're not making a ton of money. I get into real estate and I start the training with new people. Like this I said listen, take a piece of paper. I want you to draw a line on it and then draw another line next to it, right next to it. I want you to draw all these lines. Now we have 30 lines, now we have 60 lines, now we have 180 lines, and now the lines take up the whole piece of paper. This way, right, and I said that's a year, look how far you've come.

Maria Quattrone:

Because it's building on the premise of the daily tiny little bit of improvement over time, the value of the compound effect and the value of the compound effect married with the right stuff going up here, the right vibration, the right energy that you bring. Believe it's already happened. Like you know, it's funny. People will say well, I don't believe in all that stuff. I said, really, I said, because thoughts become things, somebody had an idea.

Maria Quattrone:

You had an idea, dan, you're going to design your life. You did, you put things into place, you put things into action and you, you believed, like I believe, I you believe it will happen. There'll be a way that it will happen. Now it's the hell right, and so the failing part of it is that part that didn't work more. Okay, let's tweak it and try this hell over here, and that's a whole different conversation than like okay, we still have to do the action in the real estate world and it happened to be for like a sales team still have to make other calls. But it's how you talk, what you say, how you ask the people, the questions, the relationship you build along the way. I know so much stuff about all these people that I've never met before in my entire life. I'm talking to them on the phone for years. Literally they're like how do you know all this stuff about people?

Dan Zitofsky:

I said I ask questions, exactly well, all we are is I was going to say in that not to cut you off, but it is important for the for the here this all we are is two things. Any business, all we are is two things right. One is we are relationship capital. We build relationship capital. Any business you're in, you could be selling toilet bowls. You could be selling. You could be selling toilet bowls. You could be selling pens. You could be selling real estate. You could be selling mortgages. You could be doing turnkey investments, like I do. You could be doing anything.

Dan Zitofsky:

Relationship capital People got to know you, trust you, like you, right, we talked about that and we're problem solvers. That's all we are. If you think you're anything more than that, you're missing the boat. So, just like you said, start building relationship capital. Don't look at people as a transaction. Look at them as a relationship. Don't worry about selling them. Build a relationship.

Dan Zitofsky:

The problem is people want to make it quick. They want to get rich quick. They want to lose weight 100 pounds in 30 days. They want it quick, instant gratification, everybody. This is the world today. Right, you text somebody, I get back to you right away um, that's, that's but the relationship and actually actually ask them how they're doing and and listen, really listen. Right, be present. Stop being more present, right, and I've been. That's been focusing myself on this year. Right, I'm always trying to get better. I've been, in fact. I had a. I had a, a a. She asked me the other day. She said we texted a couple of times. I didn't hear back from you. So I get this Facebook right. I just want to make sure you got my task. I go. Yeah, I'm at my grandson's birthday and I was hanging out with him in the pool and hanging out, put my phone away.

Dan Zitofsky:

I'm doing it more than that this year and I want to say maybe you should try it, but I was like I'm being more present this year, right, so, but we do two things. Don't forget this Relationship capital and problem solver, if you can do those two things. So, if somebody tells you I want vanilla ice cream, stop telling them how great chocolate is. They don't care, they want vanilla. Relationship capital and problem solver. Where do I get the best vanilla ice cream? Well, you know, I know you love the best vanilla, but you should go try this chocolate. Well, they didn't ask me for chocolate, they asked me for vanilla. So, because you didn't listen, you asked the question.

Dan Zitofsky:

How many times do people ask a question just wanting to spew off their own? They don't even listen to what they're hearing. They're just like ready to talk. Right, you probably get this because you're doing podcast, ready to talk, ready to ready to talk, ready to talk, and I listen for cues. And when I hear cues, I'm like, oh, let's go deep on that, because that's important. And like this, this is what you said.

Dan Zitofsky:

And it's so important if you're mentoring real estate agents, because I'll tell, if you learn how to be a great relationship builder and a great problem solver, you will destroy. You will destroy every agent out there because the new, you know NMLS and the board and the commissions and how that works. Yeah, you have to earn your keep, you have to provide value. You just don't get free commissions anymore and I think that's great for the great agents. The horrible agents love it. The great agents are like yeah, I provide value, I'm going to make my money or you're not going to work with me because I provide so much value, right? So I know I've talked to a lot of agents because I've mentored a lot of big companies with agents and agents they love the new laws. They didn't have a problem with it at all because they know how much value they bring, right. So it all starts with relationship, capital and problem solving. If you solve those two things, you got a business forever.

Maria Quattrone:

That's Stan, that's came up with Be the Solution podcast, because it was COVID 2020, april 1st and I was going live on Facebook. Then my marketing girl. She's like, all right, you're going to do a podcast. I'm like, okay, so we have to have a name. She's like, well, what do you do? I go? We solve problems. We get paid to solve problems, challenges. The bigger the problem, the more money.

Maria Quattrone:

And I said we provide solutions, so be it to there and the Be the Solution, our number one, my number one and our company's number one core value Be the Solution, be in contribution. So I do these podcasts and invite people like you, you know who. Great message, because I believe in being in contribution and the more we can give away for free and impact people that's my word this year is impact. The more we can impact people, the more lives, more lives we can change, the better we're, we're doing our job. You know, I believe that God put us here to be the best version of ourselves and it's our duty daily to get better every single day. And the meeting that I don't want to take, dan and I think about this all the time is the meeting with the person when I die, who I could have been had I taken the chances. That's awesome.

Maria Quattrone:

That's a meeting I never want to take.

Dan Zitofsky:

That's awesome.

Maria Quattrone:

So I am outspoken, I am aggressive, I am people call me all kinds of things, whatever, but I am me and I'm authentic and I'm the only. I'm the lane of Quattrone out there. So we're the only versions of ourselves. Nobody has to be like us. I wish more people would just be themselves. Let people you know. If you're yourself and you deliver the right message, your tribe will find you, whatever that means. Exactly that's your circle. That's what I was talking about Circle right, be authentic, you, whatever that means.

Dan Zitofsky:

Exactly, that's your circle. That's why I was talking about circle right, be authentic. People have to know you, trust you, like you, and if you're authentic, they will connect with you. If you're perfect, they'll never connect with you. Nobody's perfect. Nobody connects with perfection.

Dan Zitofsky:

That's why I do not try to be perfect. I'm just myself. And that's why I do a lot of social media posts. Right, just what's going on and just living my life. I do a lot of social media posts, right, just what's going on and just living my life. Right, like, talk about the good, the bad, the ugly and just be me. Right, so so many people.

Dan Zitofsky:

You got to watch who you follow and stop consuming so much. Right, find your trap and then create your circle, whatever that looks like. Create your circle and your life will change completely, and don't focus it on oh, let me create my circle, how much money I'm gonna make. Create your circle of what you want, who you want to be in your life, and it's just like your life by design. If you could have anyone in your life, what would they look like? And I don't mean man, woman, white, black, hispanic. I don't mean any of that. I mean, what do they look like? What is the avatar? What is their heart? What is their core values like? What are you not going to accept in your circle? And you create that. And there's ways to create that. You create a podcast, you create a group, you create a meetup, you create, uh, something. You're into artwork, you know bourbon, cigars, wine clubs, fast cars. Create a group and have people come. Those are the people you want to be hanging around, you know. Create that. Don't sit down and just be somebody who consumes consumes, consumes people in life. It doesn't have to be business, just be a creator in what you want. Everyone has.

Dan Zitofsky:

Like Les Brown says, everyone has greatness and I believe that I've just put his name there because he always says that. But I always believe that in my life I'm like I don't care who you are. You could be somebody strung out on drugs. You have some greatness within you. You could be a homeless person. You have some greatness within you. Every single person.

Dan Zitofsky:

I believe and I love on people. That's who I am is. I always love on others. I mean, I always want to help them and I'm a connector, but I always believe that somebody has some greatness within them. They just might not know it yet and it might not be brought out yet. So if you could bring that greatness within them out, they change the world and and you got the world. That's why I say world changers, um, and it's so important, these kind of you know, we talked, we really a lot, but we really brought into a couple things right. There's not a you know it. People can get off this and listen to this and take action immediately. Today. They, they don't have to wait till next week, next year, till the New Year's, they don't have to wait till New Year's resolution. They can literally start doing it today. Just start today and then a compound effect will be tremendous for their lives.

Maria Quattrone:

So start today. I have a question for you.

Dan Zitofsky:

Sure.

Maria Quattrone:

So we talk about people are afraid to fail, and I think that there is a lot of failure, but I also think there's a lot of fear of success.

Dan Zitofsky:

I agree. I agree People have to succeed. You know why?

Maria Quattrone:

They're out of their circle of people, they're in different comfort zone, they don't know how to live at that level. You know, I have people always tell me. They say to me, people come to me and like you know, I want to do this, and I said they'll say I'm not at the level that I'm at. And I say who do you need to become to be at that level? Who do you need to become? Because, at the end of the day, it's really about personal development.

Dan Zitofsky:

Wow, that's, that's powerful, that's really powerful. One of those questions we ask. Now, I don't ask that, but that's, that's like questions. That was look like if it could be anything like you know, and that's a great, great question to ask your students anyone. You mentor, who do you need to become? And people are scared and your network is going to pull you down.

Dan Zitofsky:

Right, we always talk about that crab story, right? One crab is walking on a pot and the other crabs are trying to pull him down. But the reason why is there's two reasons. Once again, it goes to the two. Everything is two. There's two fears. Right, there's two reasons. Once again, it goes to the two. Everything is two. There's two fears. There's two things we are. There's two reasons why, and this is what I think I'm not the expert, probably, on this, but the reasons why is one is if they see you succeeding, they're scared that you're going to break out of that pot and you're going to leave them. So you're growing. They don't want to see Maria grow because she's going to leave them. And two, right, is they have to now look in the mirror and they say, wow, how come I'm still here, how come I'm still standing in the same street corner hanging out with the same people doing the same nothing, with the king of dipshits, like I talked about the king of dipshits, if she's growing out of there. So they say, misery loves company and that's very, very much what we're talking here, right? So, unfortunately, you've heard, you are the people you hang out with, right, if you hang out with the dogs you're going to get fleas, but it's hard to break out.

Dan Zitofsky:

It is hard to break out of that comfort level of being the smartest person and I'm a speaker, so I say this with some slight intent. But I go to these events and I'm a speaker, so I say this with some slight intent. But I go to these events and I speak and I always sit at the end room and I watch. I'm one of those things. I just want to honor all the speakers and I want all the people that were there I'm not one of these speakers to speak, get on a plane and go to the next event and speak there. Unless I it happens once or twice, I have no choice, but generally I will be present, right?

Dan Zitofsky:

But I watch other speakers and I watch what they do on stage and I listen to most speakers and all they talk about how is how great they are and why you should do what they're doing. Right. That's it. That's all they talk about. They don't actually teach anything. They don't actually tell you to how, they tell you to why. And they tell you how great they are. They spend. They're speaking for 40 minutes and 20 of it is talking about how great their life is all the vacations they take, all the money they make, all the deals they've done, and nobody cares why.

Dan Zitofsky:

I'm saying that is nobody cares about that. They don't care about your money. They don't care about your success. They don't care about it. You got to. You have to kind of prove they've done something, and that's it. What they care about is how do they connect with you? They connect with you and nobody connects with perfection.

Dan Zitofsky:

I said we said this earlier podcast, that I all right, so it it comes back to to become that person, you have to be the dumbest, you have to look to be the dumbest person in the room. That's hard for people because that ego kicks in. They don't want to be the dumbest person in the room, they want to be on that stage. They want everyone running up to them and it's cool to speak. But when I cool to speak, but when I go to other rooms right when I go to like events and when I do a mastermind or inner circle, I surround myself. It's my inner circle group. I surround myself with most people that are level with me or above. There's a couple people that have done less than me, but they have personality, their intent, their mission, their abundance is there, so I want them part of the group intent their mission.

Dan Zitofsky:

Their abundance is there. So I want them part of the group. I want them to grow with the group. But if somebody just comes and it's hey, I just you're. I don't idolize you. Don't idolize me, dan, they're not. That doesn't do anything for me. I'm not helping you. Don't idolize me. Like, ask me questions. You know I get on stage and sometimes people come up and they have a chance to ask a question. Not that I'm the greatness that they have a chance, but there's a lot of people. If you speak at an event, a lot of people come up to you in the amount of time you have and they get a chance to be.

Maria Quattrone:

Hey, can I talk to you, Sure.

Dan Zitofsky:

What's up and they'll ask me questions like hey, what kind of watch are you wearing? Where'd you get those? What brand shoes are those I? What brand shoes are those? I'm like, why is that the one question you would ask somebody if you have 30 seconds to ask them a question, and I don't say you get 30 seconds, but you come up to me. You know you've been there, you've spoken at events, I'm sure you've coached people and everybody has questions for you and I honor them for coming up. But ask a question that's going to change your life, like, ask that question, right? So it just comes back to the whole full circle of what we're talking about. Like, you know, who do you want to be? If you want to be Marie Quattrone, what's the one question If you could ask her?

Dan Zitofsky:

She got off the stage just now speaking to 500 realtors and you could ask her one question how she's going to win a couple hundred listings a year, how she's going to, you know, be three months in Italy or six weeks in Italy this year and then three. How do you do it? You know, be three months in Italy or six weeks in Italy this year and then three. How do you do it. Am I going to ask her what kind of blouse are you wearing or what hair product do you use? Or am I going to ask her that question, right? Or am I going to go up to Maria and talk about hey, maria, you did 200 deals this year, you know, I got, I got 100 deals. Right? Like she doesn't care, like ask her a question. That's going to enhance your life, enhance your life, but once again, that's around being around people that are the best. Find the best person in the room, or find the best rooms where you're most uncomfortable and that's where you're going to grow.

Dan Zitofsky:

So, who do you a long story. I'm backing up the story where you just said that so powerful to me, right? Thank you so much. You said who do you need to become, right, wow, I got. I'm going to be thinking today I'm'm gonna go out and have my coffee and probably sit on the water right now. Who do I need to become? Who do I need to become? Who does dan zatowski need to become? To get better. And not that I need to make more money, because I don't. Money is not an object for me, it's not something I chase anymore. It comes, but I don't chase it, but to be a better person a better husband, a better father, a better grandfather, a better brother, a better uncle, a better mentor, a better coach, a better grandfather, a better brother, a better uncle, a better mentor, a better coach, a better friend. Who do I need to become?

Maria Quattrone:

How can I look and how do I?

Dan Zitofsky:

get better. How do I get better? How do I get better? How do I get better? And that's why I believe everyone needs that coach. Everyone needs a coach in their life and you might need a financial coach, a health coach, a life coach, a marriage coach, a friendship coach. You need to invest in yourself. You need to invest right. It's not a cost, it's an investment. So everybody needs to have a coach. So, like if I was a real estate agent, I get the coach great, who's doing 100 200 deals minimum a year, and she's going to be traveling the world, not grinding in the summers. Well, that's why I want to coach me right. Find the best person you can find that lives the life you want to live and find out how to coach you. Please don't ask them how to pick their brain. Like, I want to coach with you, not when I have the money, because if you don't have the money, you don't find a way to do it. You'll never have the money.

Maria Quattrone:

You know it's not going to be easy.

Dan Zitofsky:

Nothing's easy, but find the person who's doing what you want to do and align yourself with them, and that's how you learn now people will say you know, oh, we're doing the money, so if not now, when? My when I coached one-on-one and I very rarely do it now.

Dan Zitofsky:

I take on like two people at a time, max right, and always the best success stories were the people that didn't have the money. They were the best success stories because they were. They were you don't want to. It's okay to fail if I if I meant to, this meant to say don't ask me to pick my brain, because you've asked me to pick my brain. What's going to happen is the minute it gets tough, because it will get tough. Right, every business right. We're going to fail, we're going to get knocked down.

Dan Zitofsky:

But those are the people who are going to quit on themselves and, selfishly, if I don't make them invest in themselves and they quit on themselves what I say. Everyone has greatness within them. They just haven't found it yet. So the first sign of roughness is when they're going to quit. Now I'm being selfish if I don't make them invest in themselves, because they will quit on themselves. And now you just let somebody go. That could have been great, but they're not great because they quit on themselves. Why they quit on themselves? Because it was too easy to quit. So and I learned this because it was my own immaturity in coaching my coach taught me this that when I was coaching people for free, I was being selfish to them, knocking myself to them.

Dan Zitofsky:

So think about that. And I know most people think about everything as a cost. Here's the thing We'll probably end with. Success leaves clues right. Successful people do not think of anything as a cost. They don't go out there, clip coupons, spend an hour clipping coupons to save 10%. They don't look for the cheapest gas in town. They turn around and they're like you know what? I could always make more money. There's only so much you could save. There's only so many coupons that are going to be out there, but I could always go out there and I could increase my life. I there, but I could always go out there and I increase my life. I can make more money. If I could take that time and spend it fast, tracking it with the right people in less time, I can make so much more money.

Dan Zitofsky:

So if I was a real estate agent, there was no doubt in my mind right now, today, if I was a real estate agent, I would find the absolute number one, number two, number three agent in that area doing the type of properties I want to do. Maybe I'm the million dollar listing guy in this area. I'm going to find the person who's listening whether we're coaching. I'm going to make him a coach. I'm going to say I'm going to pay you, you're going to mentor me. I'm going to pay you, whatever this amount of money, to mentor me before I even get on your team, and then I'm going to prove to you that I belong on your team and then I'm going to be hired by you to be on your team. That's kind of what I would do. Or I could go to the local agent that's going to pay me 70, not teach me anything, but 70 of nothing is still nothing, right? That's? That's just how I think and that's how I've been successful. So what? Once again, success leaves clues. Follow what successful people do. And every successful person, every successful person to coach multiple. I have two. Every successful person has a coach Multiple I have two. Every successful person has a coach.

Dan Zitofsky:

I spend over six figures a year between coaching and events for myself, for myself, right, and I'm the dumbest person in the room, probably in both of those rooms and you can't just pay to play. You pay a lot of money, but you can't pay to play. You have to earn your way into those rooms. So that's how I created my inner circle event. It's not a long-term coaching, it's the same thing. It's a two-and-a-half three-day event. It's like you have to earn your way into that room.

Dan Zitofsky:

I interview every single person before I let them in. Yes, you have to invest money to get into those events. They're high-level, but what do we do? We donate a lot of money myself, with 15 to 20 of the top superstars that I want to be around, and it's not a paid play, it's you have to earn your way in. So create those circles, create your mentor, figure out who you want your mentor to be and I imagine you probably have a lot of realtors on your podcast here, on the beta solution podcast and imagine you know you get to train, you get to be mentored by one of the top agents out there and you follow her trend of what she's doing.

Dan Zitofsky:

That, to me, is fast track to success. Now, if I see an agent out there working $100 a week, that's never with their family, never can go to their kids' games, never can go on vacation, never can go to dinner with their spouse or their friends or whatever. I don't want that because that's not the life I want. Now, if I'm chasing money, maybe that's what I want, so you got to figure it out. And Because that's not the life I want Now, if I'm chasing money, maybe that's what I want, so you got to figure it out, and most people don't have to figure it out. I'm hoping with this podcast today we created so many. If you're not taking notes, I would just say re-listen to this again two or three times, start taking notes and start circling some hot buttons and start taking action, and I would love to hear success stories, maria, and I would love to hear success stories.

Maria Quattrone:

Maria, it has been a fabulous, fabulous morning with you. Dan, I'm grateful that you honored my craziness of an early morning podcast. That's all right, I like to get my day started thinking good things and thoughts. And it was a pleasure having time again with you.

Dan Zitofsky:

Yes, it was.

Maria Quattrone:

It truly was Thank you. So time again with you.

Dan Zitofsky:

Yes, it was, it truly was that much.

Maria Quattrone:

No, thank you, and we'll check in with you and you know you'll be telling us about all the great next things that you're working with. All the gosh, so many different things.

Dan Zitofsky:

But the development on.

Maria Quattrone:

TAN and you can let us know about your next exciting adventure sounds awesome.

Dan Zitofsky:

Thanks, maria, have a great day thank you.